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I
turned the key into the lock of Room 127 and opened the door. It
was just what I needed - a tiny bathroom, a small seating area and a
double bed. I tossed my overnight bag on the bed, laid my book bag
on the coffee table and threw myself into a slightly overstuffed chair.
"Well, here I am," I declared. "Okay God, you've
got my undivided attention for 24 hours," I challenged.
"Show me, I beg you! Please show me why I'm so miserable.
Helloooo, are you there???"
I don't think I really expected Him to walk out from behind the bathroom
door. Yet I was hoping for something. But in reality, had a
note dropped from the ceiling with my name on it, I would have hesitated
to pick it up. It would have been just my luck that God was
sending me a moving notice, without a forwarding address. That's exactly
what the last couple of months had felt like - God didn't seem to be the
least bit interested in the events of my life. So you see, I
really needed for Him to show up in Room 127.
As I mentioned before, I took
just two things with me - a small overnight bag and my Bible book bag.
Now it may sound like I was running away from home but I wasn't. I
just needed a break from the telephone, my children, my husband,
cooking, laundry and anything else that had my name on it. And to
be honest, the fact that my family helped me pack my bag was probably a
pretty good sign that they were ready for me to take a break, too.
So I did.
I needed to be somewhere that I could talk out loud to God without the
possibility of being overheard. I needed to work though my
thoughts by writing down words and drawing pictures without anyone
looking over my shoulder. I needed to be able to embrace whatever
emotion I was feeling at the moment without anyone trying to console me.
And that's exactly what Room 127 afforded me - the luxury of being alone
- with God.
I grabbed my book bag and emptied the contents on to the coffee table.
Besides the usual pen, pencil, hi-liter and Bible, I also had a copy of
The Message. A friend had given it to me and said that she had
found it to be 'interesting reading'. I usually made it a practice
not to spend too much time reading paraphrases or contemporary
translations of the Bible. Where that 'practice' came from, I
don't know. Maybe it was because I was afraid that I would somehow
be lead astray or that the truth would be misrepresented, I don't really
remember. I just know that in Room 127, I wasn't afraid or
concerned anymore. So I put both books on the coffee table and
began to thumb through them. As I waded through Romans, I began to
slow down when I reached the eighth chapter. I continued to read
verse-by-verse, first in my Bible and then in The Message. As I
reached verse eleven my attention began to peak and then verse fifteen
hit me right between the eyes.
"When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he
did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his
Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's! So
don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red
cent? There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best
thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life.
God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid grave
tending life." Romans 8:11-15a, The Message
"Grave tending? I've never heard of such a thing!" I
thought to myself. I snuggled back into that slightly overstuffed
chair and began to imagine what grave tending might look like. In
my mind's eye, I watched as someone paced frantically around an old
gravesite. As I looked closer, I saw that it was me! I was
carrying a shovel, a garden hose and a large can of deodorant.
Sounds ridiculously silly and morbid, doesn't it? Well, apparently
that's how a person looks when they're grave tending.
The shovel was used to dig up that which is buried. The water from
the garden hose helped clean off the dirt and decaying rot. A big
spray from the can of deodorant temporarily masked the stench of death
with a sickeningly sweet smell. And, once the whole process was
completed, a valiant effort was made to prop up the now clean-smelling
dead. It really didn't matter how I propped up the things that I
had just tended. That which was dead eventually fell over.
Why? Because there is no life in that which is STILL dead.
But I was determined. I tried over and over and over again.
"Knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, that our
body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves
to sin." Romans 6:6 (NAS)
You may be thinking that I had lost my mind. But I hadn't. I
was grave tending. I was trying to mix the old and the new - the
dead and the living - who I once was in Adam with who I now am in
Christ. Yes, I was attempting to breathe life into those old
things that once seemed to satisfy so I could continue to depend upon
them. Things like faith in myself; a lifestyle maintained by rules
and guidelines; a behavior-based identity; a righteousness established
by works, and things of the like. Though I knew intellectually
that through my co-crucifixion, death and burial with Christ these
things had been laid to rest, I guess I thought there was still
something in that grave that would benefit me. I know. It's
ugly, degrading and utterly senseless.
But please tell me that you can relate! Have you ever found yourself
trying to breathe life back into something that is no longer of any
benefit to you - especially when it's utterly senseless and the ugliest
of behavior? Well, chin up, dear friend. I don't think we're
alone. Apparently the apostle Paul was seeing something similar in
Galatia. In Galatians 4:9 he says, "But now that you have
come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn
back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you
desire to be enslaved all over again?" Sounds like grave
tending of some kind had been going on in Galatia or Paul wouldn't have
written about it.
Let's look at this together for a moment. I think we'd agree that
it's absurd to spend any time trying to bring something back from the
dead, right? First of all, we're not able to resurrect anything -
only He can. And secondly, we have no life to give the resurrected
- only He does. Second Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore if
any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away;
behold, new things have come." Thank goodness! He alone
lays to rest that which is dead and gives life to the new creation.
Can you see that any effort at grave tending is a feeble attempt to
change His arrangement? Yikes! Looking at grave tending from
that perspective makes me want to retire my gravesite equipment for
good. And just to be safe, I think it's better that I leave it under
lock and key!
Under lock and key. If you'll remember, that's were all this
started - I had been standing in front of the door of Room 127 with a
key in my hand. Anything had been possible and I was not
disappointed. What a wonderful time of unbelievable discovery,
refreshing encouragement and merciful reminders of His great love.
But now it was time to go home. As I made my way towards the
office to turn in my key, I turned around just in time to see the maid
service stop outside the door of Room 127. I had to laugh out
loud. I knew what she would find. The tiny wastebasket in
the bathroom was not only holding a few tissues but also a shovel, a
garden hose and a large can of deodorant!
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who
live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh
I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered Himself up
for me." Galatians 2:20
I love you,
Marcy
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